Narcissistic Abuse: A Counsellor's Take

Written by Byneta Robinson | 14 April 2026

Narcissistic abuse can feel like being trapped in a fog you know something’s off, but it’s hard to see clearly. As someone who helps people through this, a big part of the process is helping them realise that what they’ve gone through isn’t just normal relationship struggles. It’s deeper than that. Narcissists have a way of turning things around, making you doubt yourself, your worth, and even your reality.

The first step is figuring out what’s real again. Often, people have been manipulated for so long that they’ve lost trust in their own instincts. As a counsellor, I listen,really listen because sometimes just being heard is the beginning of feeling whole again. Slowly but surely, it’s about helping someone understand, “Hey, it’s not your fault.”

Then there’s rebuilding. Narcissistic abuse has a way of tearing down self-esteem brick by brick, but it’s possible to build it back up. Maybe it starts small helping the person recognize their strengths or set tiny boundaries that help them feel in control again. It’s not a quick fix, and there might be steps backward, but every step forward matters.

Healing also involves grief. Not just for the person they thought the narcissist was, but for the time and energy lost. It’s okay to feel angry or sad it’s all part of the process. The goal isn’t about forgetting what happened. It’s about finding strength in it and realizing it doesn’t define who you are.

One of the most powerful moments is when someone starts believing in themselves again. That moment when they stop blaming themselves and start seeing how strong they’ve been to survive everything they’ve endured. It’s like watching someone find their light again, and it’s honestly one of the most inspiring things I’ve ever witnessed.

If any of this strikes a chord, know that there’s hope. Narcissistic abuse doesn’t have to define you. With the right support, you can rebuild, rediscover, and thrive. It’s never too late to take that first step toward healing.